Losing To Yourself
by heavenhell23
Summary: Kid remembers when he had a mother, the one who made him happy, and shared those same brilliant golden eyes with him. (re-written, non-canon).


Kid hasn't always been this strong, he didn't have to be, once.

In fact as he fought with Liz and Patti, dodging the odd swipe or jab of his weak opponent, easily managing to get the odd well placed shot in, he looked back on the time he was but a small boy. At that age he knew a lot of things, for example, he knew full well that his father wasn't like most fathers, not just by his appearance, but, by his powerful soul wavelength. Kid hadn't understood the meaning of 'soul wavelength' as well then, but he knew his fathers was no ordinary one, it had a sinister air to it, a deep malevolence that secretly frightened Kid. These being the days when Lord Death had not formed DWMA and still had his booming voice, a voice he only ever stopped using when either Kid or a certain woman was around.

Most people knew the stories, that Kid was a fraction of the great Shinigamis soul itself, and this was true, to an extent. He was technically a human soul merged with the fraction of the great Shinigamis at birth, over time he would eventually become fully fledged as his human side slowly fades, something he personally was not looking forward to.

The real truth is that, Spirit, Makas _slightly_ over enthusiastic father, was not always Lord Deaths deathscythe, in fact, back in the old days Kids mother was his trusted and talented weapon. From what Kid could remember, he looked like her, his father always told him how his eyes were so like hers; two shades of dazzling gold, and jet black hair, of course she didn't have his cursed lines of sansu, no, his mother was a thing of beauty, the perpetual meaning of symmetry, perfection, she moved in an agile manner, rarely smiling unless she was in the presence of Kid or Lord Death himself, she was there for both of them, always giggling at Kids desperate attempts to 'fix her symmetry', often crouching down so he could reach up and gently perfect random strands of her hair or clothing gone askew. Kid was a happy child whilst she was with them, talkative, curious and loving, but the fateful day she was cruelly taken away from him and his father, no matter how young he was then, will always be burned into his memory.

* * *

Lord Death hadn't thought of it as a very large threat at the time, when Asura sent the news, the same old bad souls were wreaking their usual havoc upon the streets of Death City, no, nothing he couldn't sort out himself, a few hits from his beloved weapon Mei and he could resume his usual monitoring of souls, and such, but when he got there, he knew that something was different. As he hovered in the middle of the street, Mei resting comfortably in his stark white hands, her sharp blade glinting, ready for the fight – Lord Death noticed it was too quiet, he wondered for a moment, whether Asura had been mistaken, but as an explosion occurred behind him, he knew that wasn't the case.

A cloaked figure launched itself towards him, hurtling at full speed were enormous balls of soul energy. He tasted it, he smelt it, the atmosphere was thick with it; Fear. Ducking, dodging and blocking each blow, he fought back, measuring his opponents soul wavelength, seeing how the attacks seemed to stem from the persons shadowed face, after near misses, and a few weak hits, he managed to deal a powerful blow, his opponent fell to the floor, the Shinigami was almost disappointed at the lack of effort, but as he made his way cautiously towards them, he was sure, he knew this person.

He grabbed his opponent, pulled back the hood, dropped them, and stood frozen for what felt like hours, he sensed Mei shiver, they had not spoken, they didn't need to, they felt each others shock, sadness and betrayal... "Asura... How could you-?" Death was cut off by maddening laughter, it sent chills through him, he felt Mei shudder then transform and stand beside him.

Seeing her, his mother, standing in front of him, arms folded and her soft features contorted into a hardened expression of disappointment, seemed to bring Asura to his senses, as he abruptly stopped laughing and jolted upwards, looking at her with cold eyes and an insane smile playing across his lips,

"Hello there... _Mother_, happy to see your beloved son so... powerful?" he asked, his smile growing wider.

"Power! You call this horrific display, _power_? It's a disgrace!" Lord Death roared, making the ground shudder beneath them.

Mei cut in suddenly "Your fathers right. How do you expect Kid to understand the legacy you're leaving him, when you've behaved in this way, becoming this- this monster!" Mei screamed, tears falling from those sun-like eyes, but in that instant, she knew she'd said something terribly wrong, as Asuras smile disappeared rapidly, to be replaced by a dark glare.

"Monster? I did this for you, I wanted to make you proud, I wanted you to love me! Like you love _him._ I guess that doesn't matter now, I'll be this _monster_, I'll grow stronger, and I'll defeat the great 'Lord Death', I guess I'll do as I please, It's not like I have parents to prove anything to anymore." He paused, "Maybe I'll show you how it feels to have your heart-broken by someone you love...".

Before Lord Death could react, Asura's mouth had already unhinged grotesquely and a glowing scarlet orb of energy whistled past him and encased Mei, tears flowing once again down her face, she already seemed to be deteriorating as her speech was slow.

"Take.. c-care of our son... Death, I-I've had.. a wonderful life... and- and I don't regret any of it... except not being th-ere for Asura, m-aking him th-this way.. a-and because of that... I forgive him... please try to fo-..." her words slipped away and with that, so did Meis life as Deaths wife and Kids mother, died.

When The Shinigami returned home three days later, after sealing Asura away in a bag of his own skin, he reluctantly broke the news to his remaining son, trying to explain as best he could to the infant he would now have to raise alone that 'Mommy' had gone somewhere else and they wouldn't be able to see her anymore, At the time Kid was too innocent and oblivious to fully understand what this meant. The child didn't seem to understand that his mother was gone. The boy waited, and on the first evening of noticing his mother wasn't home peering around his bedroom door and saying goodnight like always, he caught on, and Lord Death embraced his son as he cried broken-hearted tears into his shoulder.

Death knew from then on he would raise his son to be strong and independent, he knew that when the time came he would train that boy to go up against the foulest evil and return un-scathed. It was his duty as Kids remaining parent, after all, he would do whatever he had to keep him safe, he would never again lose another member of his family, even if it meant endangering himself.

Kid heard that was the day his father changed, the reason he started DWMA. Despite what his wife may have wanted, Lord Death couldn't risk Kid getting hurt too, and now it's Kids job to make sure Asura stays that way, trapped for eternity with nothing but his own insanity and fear to keep him company.

* * *

Once the fight had concluded and he collected the new soul (giving it to Patti for the sake of symmetry) and thanked the girls for their assistance as they switched back, he looked up at the sky and hoped his mother would be proud, as every day he strived for her, and his father, and of course, his friends. Knowing that made Kid happy, and gives him the same smile his mother once gave him.

She doesn't have to worry anymore, because Kid is not, and will never be, alone.


End file.
